It was Thanksgiving night and I’d just exited the theater after having seen House Of Gucci. All I could say was, “That was good!(?)”
Then when I got home I said, “I enjoyed that, right?”
The following morning, I thought, “It’ll grow on me!”
Reader, it was not good, I did not enjoy it, and it did not grow on me.
Listen, I know I’m late with this, but people are still talking about it, so, I will be people.
As always, the book was better.
Even the trailer was better.
Lady Gaga doing press for House Of Gucci is better than House Of Gucci.
For a movie that is 2 hours and 38 minutes long, not much happens, when in reality, there is a lot that happens in this story.
House Of Gucci would have been far better off as a mini-series. Y’all didn’t have Ryan Murphy’s phone number? Jokes aside, making this movie a series would have allowed for there to be more detail and more of a story-line. The movie takes on too much. Patrizia and Maurizio’s relationship is a large part of the story, but so are the trials and tribulations of the business that is Gucci. I felt like those two plots were fighting each other to be the main focus throughout the whole movie. And I know the point of this movie was not to give the viewer a history lesson on Gucci, but giving a little more insight on Guccio Gucci and how the brand started would have been helpful. He is also a large reason why his family acted the way they did. Not everyone is in the know. I’m sure I’m not the only one that was explaining a lot of things to their parents on the ride home.
Since every actor seemed to have been acting in a different movie, I feel like it’s only right that we go through them one by one.
I really beg you to watch Lady Gaga do press for this movie. It is so unhinged, I love it. This woman said she started to read the book, but threw it out because it had too many opinions, and instead wrote HER OWN BIOGRAPHY ON PATRIZIA. Gaga also refused to actually meet Patrizia, which like, lol. I think Gaga is a great actress and I’m sure she believes in every choice she made! In the movie, Patrizia seems to be completely infatuated with Maurizio; it makes it seem like she liked him more than he liked her, when in reality, it was the other way around. Patrizia wasn’t sure about marrying Maurizio until she saw him stand up for her in front of his father. Sure, she was obsessed with him later, but that was later. Something that wasn’t clear to me in the movie was when her downward spiral actually began, so I’ll tell you! Maurizio told Patrizia that he was going on a business trip, except he was never actually coming back, and left her for a much younger woman. ALSO, why did we just completely skip over the fact that this bitch had a brain tumor?! A brain tumor that was thought to have affected her reasoning. After having a successful surgery to have it removed, she thought Maurizio would come visit her at the hospital, but instead he just sent flowers with only his name signed. She was, of course, livid. The best way to celebrate removing a brain tumor is obviously to destroy your husband. The iconic, “I don’t consider myself to be a particularly ethical person, but I am fair” did not hit the same way in the movie as it did in the trailer. It actually didn’t make sense to me at all in the context of the scene. Is my brain too smooth or do you agree? And finally, her fashion was boring. The ski suit was chic, but like, okay? And? Patrizia was a master manipulator that literally threatened people. Why did we shy away from that? Why did we just make her seem like a money hungry, flat character?
A lot of you are about to be real mad at me, but I did not like Adam Driver’s portrayal of Maurizio. He lacked any likable qualities. Maurizio IRL was a bit timid and awkward, but he was also described to be very charming. I was not charmed. The whole point of him being in this movie was really just because he dies and that’s, like, a big deal. In the movie, Maurizio just seems to, kind of, care about everything, but he had a lot of daddy issues that made him an ass.
Jared Leto as Super Mari- sorry Paolo Gucci was fucking insane. Was the actual Paolo eccentric? Yeah, sure, but this take on him seemed almost demeaning. The scene where he pisses on the Gucci scarf was a little bit iconic, however I would have loved for there to be more of a story between him and his disagreements with the family when it came to Gucci. If you don’t know that Rodolfo created the floral scarf for Grace Kelly, what the fuck is Paolo pissing on it supposed to mean to you? Also mans literally threw down with Maurizio, and that wasn’t even touched on. I will say that Paolo’s wardrobe was the most interesting to look at, I’ll give him that.
Jeremy Irons as Rodolfo Gucci, gave us two out of the twenty different accents we were exposed to. Was he Italian, was he English? We don’t know! However, his performance was fantastic. Although he was mainly in loungewear, his wardrobe was my favorite. Chic. There could have also been more insight on his relationship with his son, Maurizio. After Rodolfo lost his wife, he became consumed by the idea of her and by trying to keep her alive. Rodolfo was a harsh person and he only started to soften a bit when he got older. Clearly, that leaves little room for having a good relationship with you son.
Al Pacino as Aldo Gucci is a bit over-the-top, but it’s not insufferable; unlike Jared Leto’s Paolo. Aldo’s real life daughter called his performance a shame and said that Pacino didn’t resemble her father at all, to which Ridley Scott responded by saying, “[F]rankly, how could they be better represented than by Al Pacino? Excuse me! You probably have the best actors in the world, you should be so fucking lucky.” I love that Ridley Scott thinks people want actor’s who actually look like them to play them instead of actors that are hot. Have you seen The Crown? They keep pretending Prince Charles and Prince Philip aren’t ugly. Anyway, Aldo Gucci was a very good businessman, and Pacino doesn’t really highlight his strengths.
Everyone in this movie is a main character, which is not a good thing, because there isn’t enough focus on anything. It’s also confusing as to why a lot of characters were missing? Aldo’s other sons, Patrizia and Maurizio’s other daughter.
Let’s also take a moment to talk about the Tom Ford scenes. Not only do I need to have some words with whoever did the casting for that role, but the feature also felt very random? Tom Ford said that he knew Maurizio, but did not interact with him as much as the movie seems to imply. Also, please read his review of the movie.
Honorable mention to that god awful Anna Wintour portrayal. JAIL!
All in all, this was such a confusing movie that not one actor was on the same page for and that lacked fashion moments. There is literally a book written about this story. Refer to your source material!!!
Anyway, I’m just a silly little girl, what do I know?